Collection of Connections
Delainee Ellsworth
2023-2024 Idaho FFA State President
Blue corduroy- just a dirty jacket with full pockets, dirtied sleeves from soil and cow slobber, and over a dozen pins lining the inside. I sat with my old FFA jacket and thought of the memories it had collected over the years. It was halfway through my year in state office and I had proudly collected four jackets, meaning the chapter jacket sat in the back of my closet collecting dust. I took a moment to really study the old jacket; not just look at it. I remember the days when it was bright and shiny, so crisp I had felt like I was drowning in it. I traced the emblem, thinking of the traditions passed down for years. The pins lining the inside are collected from every place that I’ve traveled. Memories came flooding back to me: my first livestock judging competition, showing a steer at the county fair, plaques won, tears shed, laughs shared. To others, it’s just a jacket. To me, it’s everything. Part of the reason I love my jacket, and why it is so hard to hang up, is because it is truly a collection of memories, people, and experiences. I think that these jackets are often a representation of our own lives: we ourselves are a collection of every person and experience that we have ever met.
This year has been spent largely on the road. Coming from north Idaho, making the drive back and forth to the bottom part of the state has proven to be unique. On one of these last drives made with my teammate, we found ourselves turning the music down and soaking in each town we drove through. On that drive, we talked about every little experience had at each stop. For my teammate, there were memories of being in fifth grade, stopping at every historic site with her family. She told me about constant bus rides for FFA taken to Moscow and the first time her family came to see the University of Idaho. I found it funny that we shared many of the same places, just different experiences at different times. I told her about traveling for convention, state soils, buying horses, and going to the fair each year. I joked about all the little memories at certain gas stations and the places we always stopped to take pictures. Although we were from different sides of the state, odd, little moments connected us and made us take in that drive just a little differently than all the others. This drive made me think of all these different experiences, people, places, and things that have made me who I am.
Because of my best friend in high school, I can’t walk out of the dollar store without a silly little fidget. I always order a shirley temple and chimichanga at Mexican restaurants because that’s what my advisor and I always shared after competing or showing. My tour guide in South Africa always said “I love you all” before every goodbye, so I never miss the chance to spread love. My love for swing dancing comes from one of my teammates as a district officer, who loves country music almost as he loves dancing. My grandfather instilled in me a love for orange push popsicles in the summer. I fold every gum wrapper I have into a tiny heart because a friend at summer camp once did. A stranger once told me that I had pretty eyes, now it’s my favorite compliment to give others. We never know how much these tiny moments will impact others, and oftentimes we don’t see them at all. This is just an action to some, but in reality, it’s a combination of learned behaviors of beautiful and powerful lives lived that make us who we are.
“It’s a combination of learned behaviors of beautiful and powerful lives lived that make us who we are”
I so often find myself wishing I had written down each of these tiny yet significant memories. I have a tall stack of journals, planners, and notebooks, filled with just a few pages of writing before my lack of commitment and time led me elsewhere. It breaks my heart not to have a place where I can relive every tiny adventure, inside joke, and story that I have collected. I do, however, have a theory that we have a different type of journal: people. We invest our time telling others our stories, showing them our pictures, and sharing our little moments. They are a spoken story book that have helped fill the pages of our books of life. Every person I have met has made me into who I am today, and I am grateful to have been a part of their collection of connections to something more.
