Weaknesses Don't Define Us

Carson Suchan

2023-2024 Idaho FFA State Vice President

Freshman me was thankful just to make it through the day. I was known for putting my head down and trudging through every day with the intent not to thrive, but just make it out alive. I had no self-confidence, stayed in my own lane, and didn’t allow myself to network with others or fully enjoy my friendships. I ran from my weaknesses. I let them define what I could and couldn’t do.

At the beginning of high-school, the biggest risk I was willing to take was to sign up for a weights class. Even something as simple as having to wear shorts that showed just how skinny my legs really were caused me enough anxiety that I couldn’t take it. I began to wear sweatpants instead because that way no one could see them. It wasn’t that anyone had ever said anything, I just told myself they would. That was the attitude I lived my life with. In the eyes of others I was enough, but in my own eyes, I was the epitome of a failure. The day that all changed was the day my advisor betrayed me. I was traveling to American Falls to compete in Parliamentary Procedure. My advisor, thanks Mrs. Stapleman, told me under no uncertain terms on the bus ride there that not only was I going to be doing parli. pro. but that I was going to be saying the creed. We had just got done memorizing the creed for her class and I had said it just fine, but that was in a familiar place with familiar faces. I begged her to let me just do parli. but she had made up her mind. I was nervous all morning. From sitting in the holding room to walking on to the stage I just knew I couldn’t do it. I took my last step onto the stage, grabbed the microphone, and I… I did it. Now I didn’t win by any means but I got through it. I said the entire creed without tripping, falling off stage, throwing up, spontaneously combusting, or anything worse. The whole bus ride home I could care less about parli., I had nailed the creed. I had gotten such a confidence boost. All this time I had been worried about exposing my public speaking weakness but as it turned out that wasn’t a weakness at all. The whole time I had just told myself that it was. Just like how I told myself that I was different from everyone else.

When I first got to high school I was beside myself with fear. I had never been the fashion icon of my school and I didn’t wanna embarrass myself on the first day. Especially because I had some new classes that I was more than a little nervous about going to. I had gotten signed up for welding. I was equal parts excited and nervous because I knew how valuable having welding as a skill was, but I also knew I wasn’t going to be as good as the older kids because I had no experience. We spent the first week learning about shop safety before we could go out, and then it was time. The older kids went to the back of the shop to weld while our teacher took the freshman to the main table to watch and learn. After a brief demonstration, he sent us to weld. I paired up with a kid named Dakoda and we started practicing. I started welding and it was worse than I had ever imagined. I was terrible. Not only was my weld incredibly crooked but I had missed where I was supposed to weld entirely. I looked at Dakoda and didn’t know what to expect. He looked at me, at the weld, back at me, and started laughing. He motioned me to come over and showed me his weld. It was almost identical to mine in how terrible it was. We both laughed and then smiled. I was terrible, but so was he, and we both decided that day that we were going to practice until we were good. Flash forward to senior year and we were both in the advanced class building implements for farmers and the large items for our chapter auction. By finding a partner who shared a weakness with me, I was able to grow that weakness into a strength. Not only that, but by finding someone else who shared my weakness, I found one of my best friends.

My lack of self-confidence and fear of new things had kept me from making many friends. I had been quiet and kept to myself in the back of all my classes. By putting my weaknesses out on the table with my terrible welding and sharing that with Dakoda we had become great friends. I can honestly say from that day forward my whole high school experience changed. I went from a quiet kid in the back of the class to the class clown. I made new friends and grew my network. I found a place and a mentality where I felt like I belonged and knew I had a group of friends around me who would support both me and my vision of what I wanted my future to be. They were the people that I played football with, went to lunch with, and eventually went to my first FFA competitions and conferences with. Without them I wouldn’t have had the strong foundation that I did to get me to where I am today. They covered for me in the areas where I had weaknesses. They also helped me to see that I had less weaknesses than I had ever imagined, and the ones I did have didn’t define who I was. Weaknesses don’t define us. Without weaknesses, we don’t have any room to grow. Without weaknesses, we wouldn’t have good friends who are there for us to lean on. We aren’t defined by our weaknesses, we’re defined by how we grow our weaknesses into strengths.